7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Are you involved in a relationship where you completely trust your partner? If you answered “no,” then this is the article for you. Relationships require you to have a great deal of trust for your partner, and they should have the same trust toward you. Many people think that in order for a relationship to thrive there needs to be continual variety and less routine. This is not necessarily the best way of thinking. In fact, the most stable and successful of relationships rely on routine. Predictability in a relationship is much more important than variety. It allows for the development of trust. Are you at a point in your relationship where you are ready to allow yourself to trust your partner? If so, then here are 7 concrete ways for you to improve the level of trust in your relationship.

The first way that you can build trust in your relationship is to allow yourself to look at predictability as a positive thing. This goes against the notion that the most successful relationships are those between partners that “spice things up” all the time. Think about it. If you are accustomed to your partner always sending you a goodnight text and all of a sudden they stop doing that, what are you going to think? Perhaps they stopped so that you will appreciate the goodnight more, or maybe they have started to spend time with someone else. The human mind has a unique way of interpreting changes within the relationship. This can lead to a steady unraveling of trust between people. Remember, being predictable does not mean that you can’t try a new restaurant, or surprise your partner with a weekend trip, or a gift. Being predictable simply means that the way you and your partner interact with each other needs to remain consistent in order for trust to be built.

The second way that you can build and strengthen the trust in your relationship is to make sure that your words always match your actions. If you tell your partner that you are fine when clearly there is something wrong your partner is not going to hear your words. They are going to see the frown on your face and sense the tension in your voice. Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. When actions and words match the ability for trust to grow is very strong.

The third thing that needs to happen in order for trust to grow is for you to have a belief in the competency of your partner. If this is not present, you will never be able to have the trust that you need for the relationship to thrive. You and your partner will always need to be truthful with one another. It may seem scary because sometimes the truth can hurt. However, when it is lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what your partners’ strengths are and believing in the competency of your partner will ensure that you never violate the trust within your relationship.

The fourth way that you can build trust is by not keeping secrets. Secrets are known to destroy the trust in a relationship. Both you and your partner need to be open and honest with one another. It takes much more emotional energy to keep a secret then it will if you tell your partner. This energy would be better spent if it was used toward building the relationship. In addition, sharing your secrets with your partner enables the two of you to have a better understanding of each other, thus increasing the level of trust between the two of you.

The fifth way that you can increase the trust in your relationship is by communicating to your partner what your needs are. Don’t make them guess what you need, because this will usually lead to disappointment for you when your partner doesn’t give you what you need, as well as frustration for them when they can’t figure out what you need. It is much easier if the two of you can simply let each other know your needs. If you hide your needs, you will never be happy within your relationship. Remember, allowing your needs to be known does not make you selfish. Instead it allows for a new level of trust and open communication between you and your partner.

The sixth way that you can increase the trust in your relationship is by learning to say no. It is a wonderful thing when your partner is able to voice their needs. However, this does not mean that you need to say yes to each and everything that they need. How will your partner learn to respect you if you say yes to everything? You need to remain true to yourself and not become completely subjugated to your partner. Listen openly to their needs, and expect them to do the same for you. Don’t become a doormat, or expect your partner to become one. An equal relationship is another way of building the trust within a relationship.

The final way that you can build trust in your relationship is by always pursuing growth. Think about it. When you plant a flower there are steps that you take. You begin by digging in the dirt and making sure that the roots have a strong and healthy foundation. In a relationship, “digging in the dirt” can sometimes be a painful experience. However, through that pain we are preparing a strong and healthy foundation for our relationship. Don’t fear turmoil, or sadness, or questions that will arise within your relationship as these are the “fertilizer” for relationship growth. Always embrace that which is difficult, because nothing that is worth it will ever come about easily.

When you and your partner make the commitment to work on the trust within your relationship, you are bound to encounter some pain and heartache. You may hear things that you don’t want to hear, however as you work through this pain as a couple you will not only become stronger as an individual, and you will become stronger as a couple.